The Waiting Game

The first time around, I knew Scarlett's birthday for weeks ahead of time. This time is a lot different, obviously because I'm now waiting to go into labor.

I really do not enjoy waiting of any kind, I never have. There's a ton of anticipation though with a birth which makes it even harder!

Today, at 39 weeks and 5 days, I had my membranes stripped. I found out that I made no new progress from last week but luckily I had a man doctor and he was able to perform the strip. I really, really hope that this jump starts us somehow. Since coming home from my appointment, I've had maybe two contractions.

Each night I go to bed hoping to be awoken by pain. I have never wished for pain more in my life (or ever?) .. but I keep hoping it will happen sooner rather than later.

Through all of the waiting, I am also taking time to relax.. as hard as that can be. I am squeezing Scarlett extra tight, holding on to these last couple of days with her as my only baby. It's hard to wrap my head around what's coming but at the same time, I also know what's coming. It's tricky.

Please cross your fingers and toes for me that it happens soon, goes fast and ends healthy :)

Can I have a successful VBAC?

As you may or may not know, Scarlett was frank breech and had to be delivered via C-Section. At first I was disappointed by this, however it truly was the only way she could come into this world safely and that is really all that mattered. The thing about having a scheduled C-Section is.. you're fully rested when you go in. I didn't go through 20 hours of labor or any amount of time pushing, my body was rested not exhausted. I believe that made my recovery faster and easier. And that's what scares me about a VBAC (among other things).

What if I go through 20 hours of labor this time and spend some time pushing and THEN end up with a C-Section anyway? One of the main reasons I want to attempt a VBAC is for a faster recovery, so that it doesn't hinder my ability to care for Scarlett as well as our new baby.

Now, I do have a couple things going for me here. I am almost a perfect candidate for a VBAC. The only reason I had a C-Section was due to her position, not because my hips were too narrow, etc. This gives me great hope that I can do it. However, from what I've read, and I'm not sure if my midwives would admit to this if asked, is when a VBAC patient comes into the hospital, the staff is immediately nervous due to the added complications that could occur. Honestly though, I did wait long enough for my scar to fully heal so a uterine rupture shouldn't be an issue but I am sure they will have it on the brain.

Another fear.. the unknown. I know what a C-Section is like. I do not know what a contraction feels like, what labor will feel like, what delivery will feel like or what recovery will be like. Obviously, first time moms probably have this fear and for some reason, I wasn't scared of the C-Section. Maybe because it was a surgery, not hours of pain. Add to this that I am planning to have an unmedicated birth. Not having had any crazy amount of pain before in my life (besides some terrible gas pains in the beginning of my first pregnancy), I'm not even sure of my pain tolerance level.

One thing I do know, this is going to be a wild ride and in the end, I get a baby. I am positive he will be worth any pain I have to go through to get him here. Things I plan to remember (or that I will be reminded of by Alex during labor..) are:

This terrible pain has a purpose.
This pain has an endpoint.
Count slowly to 30 and the contraction is half over.
You CAN do this.

That's all I have so far. If you have any motivational phrases that worked for you during labor/delivery, I would love to hear them!

I hope to have a successful VBAC birth story once this little one arrives. Send some good vibes into the universe for me!

Pregnancy Update!

Today, I am 34 weeks and 3 days along. There are roughly 5-6 weeks remaining. This is crazy to me.

Time flies when you're already chasing after a wee one who is a non-stop mover/shaker. Let's review the past couple of trimesters, shall we?

1st Trimester
Everything went just as smoothly as it did with Scarlett. Small hiccup with an umbilical cyst but it resolved itself within a couple of weeks (probably a pretty common occurrence). No more tired or hormonal than usual and no morning sickness. Score! We told our families and friends around Christmas and New Years if not sooner. We didn't wait until we were out of the first trimester to spill the beans. Bumps grow much faster the second time around though too, so people probably knew!

2nd Trimester
Bump continued its growth spurts. I felt the first flutters and Alex felt movement soon after that. We found out we were having a baby boy! And we decided on his first name, which will remain secret until his birth. Sleeping became more difficult as time went on and I was forced to move from belly/back sleeping to side/side sleeping.

There's his little face!

3rd Trimester
I generally feel huge but I've come to terms with it. This boy does some crazy acrobatics in there that I didn't experience with Scarlett because of her position. He tends to sleep when I'm sleeping with naps throughout the day as well. He has been in numerous positions but stressed me a wee bit the past 4-5 weeks with the midwives saying he was breech. Today they said he's head down so he better stay that way. I am trying for a VBAC so wish me luck! I haven't had any braxton hicks but did have some belly button pain that went away with some rest. Also some groin pain when I over-do it, which also goes away with rest. I just have so much to do it's hard to slow down sometimes.

With 5 1/2 weeks left I have a full plan of things to clean and organize. I need to wash all of his baby clothing and organize the closet and my dresser drawer they'll be stored in. I need to move Scarlett from her crib into the other crib we have so that the baby can be in the drop side in our room. I need to pack a hospital bag at some point and maybe read about labor since I hope to go into it at some point. I need to bust out the car seat base from Scarlett and put it in my car and set up the pack and play and get out the bouncer seat from storage. The list goes on..

I haven't done anything nursery related because it's our current guest room and that will probably stay that way until he moves upstairs which will be when we're closer to being out of winter around 6 months.

That pretty much sums it up. Almost my whole pregnancy right there in a nutshell.

I'm baaaaack!

So lots has been going on around here lately so I'll start by explaining the absence!

 Last fall, work started getting pretty stressful and in addition to my part time hours, I started working at home as well during Scarlett's nap times and sometimes even in the evening. This contributed to the slow down of posting to the blog.

In November, I got pregnant (found out in December) plus the holiday season which seemed busier than previous years, probably because I had Scarlett to think about and plan for! I also started as a Tastefully Simple Consultant, so that took up some of my free time as well.

In the beginning of 2013, we had Scarlett's birthday party which was a blast, then in addition to working my part time job while at home, I also started a freelance project that also took more free time. Work was still pretty stressful so Alex and I started thinking about August (our due month) and how we were going to handle having two children with me working part time and if it would be worth it to look into me staying home.

Alex got a new job April 1st which has been a huge blessing. He is about 200x happier in this position and I really feel that he is now on a career path instead of just having a job. He has been loving it so far and I just know that will continue!

In May, we made the decision that I would stop working mid-June right before our vacations with our families. I put in three weeks notice after Memorial Day. My lovely coworkers threw me a surprise baby shower/best wishes party prior to my departure and it was all very bittersweet. Working at the same place for almost six years was such a great experience. I learned so very much and I'm thankful for all the great people I met there.

I went to OBX with my family a couple weeks ago and then met Alex and his family in Bethany Beach the following weekend for a few days there. I will write separate posts on those fun times with pictures! Returning last week and not going back to work on Thursday was a bit strange, and this week will be my first official full week without a steady job.

It's exciting (and a little scary) but I just know this is the right decision for our family and I am so thankful that we are in a position to do this. Plus, I can get back to writing here and documenting our life, if not just for myself, for my family and friends as well!

I definitely feel that our little boy hasn't gotten the blog attention that I dedicated to Scarlett over her time in utero but I'm going to write a couple of posts on it now and then definitely keep up on it when he arrives. Having a blog like this is like having a baby book and I love going back and reading about Scarlett and my pregnancy with her. I can't wait to do the same with him.

So stay tuned.. !

12-13 weeks: round 2

Last Friday I was 13 weeks along but thought I would recap the last two weeks and even into the beginning of my pregnancy.. I talked about how we found out and more details about that in the last post.

My pregnancy so far has been going swimmingly. Pretty much the same as last time except a little more tired.. I attribute this to waking up at 6am every morning as opposed to last time when I could sleep longer.

I'm not having any food aversions or serious cravings, usually I hear something and it either sounds good or sounds gross, usually there are more goods then grosses. I have been reigning myself in though for the most part and def not going crazy food wise like I did at the end of the last go round. I want to gain less weight this time and make it easier to lose afterward.

No morning sickness in the first trimester again which was glorious.. I can't imagine having to deal with that while watching after Scarlett. I'm also starting to get to the chub phase where I look more chubby than pregnant. At the end of the day it's def a baby bump but in the morning, it's just plain chub. Photos coming soon.

Thus far we've had two ultrasounds, that's two more than we had with Scarlett at this point. It's def fun to see the baby but crazy that its less than an inch (8 weeks) then about two inches (12 weeks) and you can see it moving but can't feel it. We're looking forward to finding out the gender in 7 weeks! Sounds like a long time but these days are flying, I can't believe I'm already 13 weeks!

Until next time..

Number Two

We have some exciting news to share, we're expecting number baby two! Most of you know this already!

We found out mid-December and since then have found out the due date which is August 9th!

The gist of the finding out story is, we've basically been 'trying' since Scarlett was born. I breastfeed for 9 months until my supply dipped so low we switched to formula. That's when I got pregnant. I had been waiting for weeks to finally cycle and had a weird inkling that on Nov 10th I was ovulating.. I waited 5 weeks after that to test for pregnancy since I had just tested around the 10th and I was basically testing once a month anyway. We were pretty surprised when the test was positive. I texted a photo to Alex and then had to go buy more tests bc of course that was my last one! I called the doctor the following day and scheduled the first appointment. I don't know why they didn't just schedule me and ultrasound right then since I told them there was no way to know when I was due. But in went for the blood test and normal first appt. It was at a different location than I was used to which was annoying bc I took Scarlett and I had to walk around for a while and ask people before I found it. And she's heavy! Giving blood was a real treat as Scarlett wiggled around after prematurely finishing the bottle I brought to drink while i gave blood. :) I scheduled the ultrasound for the following week though, silly Christmas time schedules.

The ultrasound determined the date as August 9th, which was close to both Alex's and my guess of mid-August. It was fun to see the babe on the screen looking like a tiny bean. They found a cyst on the umbilical cord which I did not find out until someone called a couple days later, maybe they had to send it for more tests or something.. Regardless they wanted a follow up ultrasound at 12 weeks, which was fine with us. Apparently these are common and usually resolve and aren't even seen bc most people don't have early ultrasounds.

At 12 weeks, we got that ultrasound and everything is cleared up and looking good. We always decline the first trimester screen but kind of got it as a freebie bc they tested/measured that stuff during this ultrasound to rule out most chromosomal abnormalities.

Here we are now, weekly posts coming soon!

And Here's to 7 more healthy months and hopefully a successful vbac!

Scarlett's Birth Story {part 2}

I'll just dive right into part two, okay? Okay.

(Read Part 1: click here)

::

The surgery nurse came to get us a little after 6pm. I can't explain how surreal it was walking to an operating room, let alone walking to an operating room where our daughter would soon be born. I tried to soak up the last minutes of my pregnancy during that final waddle down different hallways until we arrived. Alex had to sit outside in the hallway while I went in and got the spinal anesthesia. I don't know what he was thinking out there, probably the same thing I was thinking in the OR, this is crazy. I walk in and they instruct me to sit up on the operating table. The room is very clean and bright. There are maybe 10 people in there, prepping/doing whatever their job in there is. It looked so cold but it didn't feel cold that I can remember. Anyway, I sit on the table and hunch over so they have good access to my spine. I get the shot of whatever numbing agent they used (didn't hurt) and then they put in the spinal shot (didn't feel it). All of a sudden, my legs get very warm. I can still move them at this point, so I lay down. My blood pressure then dropped a little too low and made me nauseous. I tell them. They put something smelly over my nose (probably so I don't ralph) and put some medicine in my IV. Then I get oxygen in my nose. That was kind of neat because I don't think I've ever had that before. Mmm fresh oxygen. Anyway, they put up the curtain and get me all prepped (i'm assuming, since I can't see anything) and then they finally bring Alex in.

Scarlett Elyse Brubaker

He sits at my head. He has the camera. I told him to take a picture of me laying there but he wouldn't. Maybe I looked scary? My arms were stretched out to the sides and he held my left one (the one closest to him). We waited and talked a little bit about how we were about to meet our daughter. We listened to Dr. Rapp talking/explaining a couple things to the resident who was observing. They have such normal conversations during surgery. I heard her ask where he was from.. it was out of state. The next thing we know, Dr. Rapp is holding up our baby girl above the curtain so that we can see her. Alex and I shared a look where we knew exactly what each other was thinking, we couldn't believe it. We made a baby and she was here. Alex said she was crying. I don't remember that she was. They whisked her over to the corner where they weighed her and measured her and got all the gunk out of her airways. I laid there while they finished up whatever they were doing to me, staring into the corner of the room where Alex was. I watched him cut the umbilical cord. Alex brought her over for a second so that I could kiss her tiny cheek. She was perfect! It didn't take long before I was all closed up and ready to roll to recovery. Alex and Scarlett weren't far behind.

Look at that cutie!

We spent the next hour or so in recovery where they monitored me and the baby. We waited for feeling to come back to my legs. I couldn't believe how heavy they felt and how no matter how I tried I couldn't move them. Every couple of minutes, the blood pressure cuff would inflate, they would press on my stomach to make sure my uterus was contracting down and every couple of minutes the nurses would touch different parts of my legs to see if I could feel it. Scarlett was over on the right hand side of me now being monitored. For what, I'm not exactly sure. That is also where they gave her the vitamin K shot and put that stuff on her eyes, but i didn't even notice when I held her for the first time maybe 15 minutes later when I could sit up a little more. One thing I did was touch my stomach area and I thought, holy crap! I'm not pregnant anymore! I can feel my rib cage!

Tiny perfection!

When I could start to feel more in my legs and they were done assessing Scarlett we could finally move to couplet care and the room we'd be in for the next 3 days. After being rolled there, they transferred me to the bed since I still couldn't move my legs and continued to monitor my blood pressure and testing the feeling in my legs. By this time it was about 8:30pm. I held Scarlett while Alex went to get our parents from the waiting room. They were quite worried at this point since we told them we thought we'd be done an hour sooner than it was. They all spent some time holding their new granddaughter. Alex took pictures. We texted friends and family to share the news. Our baby had arrived and we were settled into our room!

Our little family of three!

I was a little cloudy from the pain meds they had my dosed on (morphine) and soon I was off of that. I feel like I don't remember everything clearly though due to the meds. The pain at that point wasn't too bad  and the worse part would come later when I would try percoset, which made me sick. There is nothing worse than ralphing after a csection. Just imagine how many of your stomach muscles it takes.. that right there was the worst pain I felt. I got sick two different times. Not fun. The night was spent nursing and being checked every hour. We watched the nurse give Scarlett her first bath. She got her first Hep B vaccine and didn't cry and also got her heel pricked for genetic testing and didn't wince. What a strong little girl. I bet she was missing her little water world, but we told her before the csection happened to get ready for the shock of a lifetime. I also just want to say that all the nurses and aides we had during our stay were awesome. My favorite nurse was a night nurse named Jen, she was there two nights. She had a good sense of humor. But all the nurses were very helpful and nice. Woman's and Babies rocks!

The rest of the time in the hospital was filled with relaxation and visitors. We were adjusting to the new little one that would now be depending on us for everything she needs. We kept talking about how crazy it was that she was finally here and that we actually got to take her home after all of this. The nights were pretty sleepless but we weren't exhausted. I was up and moving around in no time. The nurses and staff were pretty impressed that I was recovering so quickly. I couldn't just lay in bed for 3 days though, it was nice to have the option of moving around the room.

Stats from her Bassinet. Check out that head size!

We had Scarlett on Friday, January 20th, 2012 at 6:30pm. She weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20.5" long. We got to go home on Monday the 23rd, my original due date. And we've been loving being parents ever since! My recovery has been great, I was able to stop the ibuprofen a couple days after arriving home. The thing that hurt the worst was laughing, who would've thought! I had to have Alex turn off an episode of Parks and Recreation because I was in so much pain!

Overall, I had a great experience. I'm not disappointed that I didn't get to experience natural labor and I look forward to that for our next pregnancy if our next baby isn't breech. I feel like we were extremely prepared for the csection mentally which helped. I was prepared for the worst in terms of recovery for myself and it ended up going better than I thought it could've. I think I got lucky. I will say that we're not as exhausted as people told us we would be. We're quite lucky that Alex has so many weeks off work to be home during this amazing time. We still look at Scarlett and find it nutso that we made a baby and I grew it for us with my body. She is so beautiful. We can't wait to see what her life holds. We plan to do everything in our power to make sure she is happy.

Ahh, life. You are too sweet.

Scarlett's Birth Story {part 1}

After a 2 week hiatus to heal after having little baby Scarlett, I'm back. I figured I'd just go right into her birth story since that's usually the thing I want to read/hear about when someone has a baby. I'll start at the beginning, hence the 'part 1' in the title.

::

We spent Thursday night relaxing with each other, talking about what it would be like if we did end up having a baby the next day. We didn't have anything special for dinner, Alex just whipped up something easy and delicious. This was also the last good sleep we were going to get for a while and we took advantage of it.

The last photo of me pregnant. 39 weeks 4 days.

We spent the morning prepping and packing in case we wouldn't be coming home that day. Everything was cleaned and in order. I wasn't allowed to eat but did get to enjoy a small 8 oz glass of water.. yumm! We arrived at Women's and Babies hospital at 11:30am which is conveniently only 10 minutes from our house.  We went to Triage to get checked in. The ECV was scheduled for 12:00pm. After check-in, we were taken to a small room where I was hooked up to the monitors for the baby's heartrate and my (non-existent) contractions. They needed to monitor for 30 minutes. Feels like we waited 45!

The ultrasound tech came in to do the final scan to determine whether the ECV was even possible. She was very nice and even tried to show us Scarlett's face, it was pretty smushed in there at this point. We wait another 15-20 minutes as the Doctor reviews the scans. A nurse returns and tells us that the ECV will not be possible and we'd be having a csection. We were prepared for this. Honestly, I think we were both hoping for it at that point.. we were so prepared to have a baby that day, going home would've been disappointing.

Trying to wait patiently.

Okay, okay.. I guess this is the last picture of me pregnant!

So we were on our way to Day Surgery Waiting so that I could get prepped for surgery. This included getting blood drawn, getting an IV and 2 bags of fluid in me since I hadn't eaten since 8pm the night before at it was now after 1pm. We sat in an even tinier room watching TV waiting for the csection which was scheduled for 4pm. Alex headed out to have lunch while he still could while I got my IV and blood taken. Sidebar: The nurse there asked me if he came from work because he was dressed in khaki's and a button down tucked in. I told her no, that he just likes to dress nicely. Meanwhile, I sat arrived for the day in sweatpants and slippers. When he got back we were informed that our Doctor was running behind schedule and our csection would be pushed to 5:30pm. We called our parents and let them know. We tried to gauge what time we thought we would be done and back in couplet care.

Doctor Rapp's initials so they know who is supposed to cut me!

Alex in his scrubs, ready to meet our baby girl.

We met with different doctors during our wait, the anesthesiologist, the surgery nurse, a resident who would be observing, and Dr Rapp who would be doing the surgery. Everyone was super nice and Alex and I were ready to get things moving. Alex got his scrub jumpsuit on. 5:30 came and went. Soon it was 6:00pm and we were wondering if they would ever come get us so we could have a baby. A little after 6:00 the surgery nurse arrived.. luckily too because we were getting very anxious.

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow!

39 weeks and a Weekend Recap

 

Today I am 39 weeks and 1 day along. Glad to be here but ready to meet her. I think if she were head down, she would be here already. Maybe. Who knows?

This past weekend we spent time together, enjoying our last free full days together alone. Friday night we headed up to babysit my niece. We stopped by my grandparents for a visit and ate pizza for dinner. We watched Tangled. Baby girl was all up in my ribs that evening. I had my hopes that she would flip but she did not.

Saturday, I had a hair appointment. We had BLT's for lunch, yum! I hit up Target. I unpacked our lot of cloth diapers that arrived in the mail. We played ping pong. We did laundry and watched a lot of United States of Tara on Netflix. We went to the Blue Orchid for a dinner date. It was delicious. I can't wait to eat sushi rolls in full force again soon. Then at home we watched some NBC thursday tv on HuluPlus and then Anchorman. See, lots of relaxing.

Sunday, we made waffles for breakfast, yum! We cleaned up the house and did more laundry. There were a bunch of things I wanted to organize before the weekend was up, so I did that. We washed the cloth diapers and put them all together so they're ready to go. We hit up the grocery store, which I normally love but I'm loving less when I have to walk for extended periods of time. We had more BLT's We watched more television and movies. I really wanted to paint more flowers upstairs on the wall but didn't get to it. There's plenty of time for that this week.

Back to baby, she's growing like a weed i'm sure. Taking up lots of space in there, kicking me in the ribs and having a good ol' time wiggling around. I am having some small cramps now and i'm assuming they're braxton hicks. They're not painful per say but they are uncomfortable. I just hope I can make it to Wednesday when we have a Dr's appointment with the csection doctor. And then hopefully make it to Friday so that we can attempt the ECV!

Still feels crazy to have a date set on the calendar that could be her birthday, but I know it happens more frequently these days but I never thought I would know it ahead. I made the terrible mistake of watching a csection video on YouTube yesterday. I told Alex that he isn't to look at my lower regions after they pull the baby out. It doesn't look pleasant, not that it should.

We're very excited to meet this little girl. We can't wait to share her name with everyone as well, it's just around the corner!